"Cause every time that it feels like the world just got lighter / seems that my muscles give out..."
- "Jealousy", Darren Criss
I hate where I'm at.
There are so many things going right. There are so many things that come easy and fall into place, like a tetris piece that clears four rows at once. And yet I latch onto the two things that are not going right. My writing. And her.
I want to give up. I want to say, "Fine, she's better than me, she's fine without me, why even try?" I am jealous of her talent and her happiness and of the life I imagine her to have even though I know that isn't the life she leads. Why bother?
Parce que j'aime ça. I love writing, I love her. I can't give up, even
if though I want to.
So. Here's what we'll do:
Good luck to us.
1 November 2015