it's been a while

life update I guess??

I don't know if it's the sunshine, or the short stories, or the slightly higher-than-average amounts of social interaction I've had in the past couple weeks, but I'm in a good place. My mind has worked its way free of the past and I've started daydreaming again. I've started writing a little. Snippets, nothing that I've finished, and maybe nothing I WILL finish, but it's something.

The details of my day are captured in my instagram story. "Good morning, babes!" and "Goodnight, babes!" are the captions that bookend my day. And for my friends who are far away, I hope this helps us feel connected.

That's another thing. I made a friend. For the first time in a long time. My dad disapproves, and I probably talk about him too much, but I think he thinks like me. Something tells me he understands straight off what it's taken other people years to learn so...we're going to give it a go. If anyone gets hurt, I hope it's me.

Classes feel like a bore, a distraction, but I know uni is an opportunity, and besides that, it's that backbone of my life. Work & school are the structures that keep the pulse of my life steady. I feel as if I want to quit. I feel as if I am not doing enough. I make my peace with it by remembering that this was my decision, and I am committing to it.

Things are okay. I'm at a sort of...neutral-positive. A life with fewer highs and lows. I am closer to health and happiness than I have been in years and a part of me misses illness. Is not that odd?

26 February 2017

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