And since we can’t stop
Barreling toward the future,
I make you a promise in the infinite now
A vow.
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I’m scared because she’s leaving
She’s gotta get away from here
And I’m scared that she’ll forget me
I’m afraid I’ll disappear.
That I won't be able to create
or communicate without her.
See,
This may be the age of communication
But the causation for the cessation of all creation
Is not communication
But frustration
From living in a world needing salvation.
And our elation comes from flirtation
And our fixation with love
Not the formation of relationships
And I've been hurt before
But the perforations in my heart only serve to
Leak my lifeblood a little faster
Let the oxygen go and let the sunshine in
So I can have a soul filled with light.
The dark stuff drains to the bottom
The sand slips through the sieve
But the diamonds catch.
And darling, you are a diamond
You sparkle.
But you’re tough as they come.
And better prepared than some
for the times ahead.
See,
They told us “we are the music makers”
and so I ventured out into the world, unprepared.
Bloated with beauty and my ignorant innocence
only to be shocked
that the glittering lights that sparkled
were electric fences that burned.
I discovered that coffee tasted like bitter truth
And I, with my dreaming and singing
was a pretty little fool.
But you were too cool to conform.
Little kids have big imaginations.
They are the dreamers of dreams.
So it seems strange that we should say they grow out of it
because as we get bigger, our minds get smaller
and you feel like you’re shrinking.
Like, without thinking
your mother put you in the dryer by mistake
and now you’re drowning in your favourite sweater.
But we are not shiny little boxes, easily categorized
They may be surprised to find that we with our dreaming and singing
are library raiders, and kitchen crusaders
discovering stories and creating flavours.
And you, darling, should pride yourself on your individuality
But I’m still afraid of the time when you'll leave me
Because you are too big for the boxes
But they are my home.
And sometimes it takes forever to write a letter
because every word is screaming
"I love you, I miss you, don't leave me"
and they won't lie still on the page.
In this age of communication
there is still so much I want to say.
So my soul of light in its shiny box
Lies in the prelude to my life.
Open it.
Inside is every hope, dream, desire.
Passionate fire,
Carbonated blood
And crystalized fear—
It’s all here.
My manic pixie dream ambitions
Of glittering lights
And midnight fights
Nightmares I love too hard
and too proud
I’ll drive away those I most want
to be around
And lingering princess daydreams.
My bright-eyed, blushing bid
To bride-dom.
See, I’ve been trying to give you pieces at a time
Poems, letters, art
So you’ll carry a part of my soul
Wherever you go.
A bride makes a vow,
But a best friend does not.
A best friends flits in and out of life
Like sunlight in curtains
But you are a diamond.
And diamonds catch.
Don’t they?
A diamond goes on a ring
When he’s proposing
to start a life together
But what is it that will tether
us together
When I’m here
And you’re there,
My partner in poetry
on an isle in the sea?
And I know
The seams on my soul are starting to show
My desperation.
But I say without exaggeration
We are the music makers
We are the movers and shakers
On runaway train.
And since we can’t stop
Barreling toward the future,
I make you a promise in the infinite now
A vow.
I vow to tell you the truth
So in all honesty
I think you’re braver than me
And there are times I will be jealous
But I will never let my envy
Be anything more
Than complimentary.
I vow to listen and argue,
To change my mind and debate
Because a friendship in a state of stasis
is nothing more than stagnant acquaintance.
I vow, not to protect you
(because you can take care of yourself),
But to offer help when you need it
Offer guidance & advice
Because electric fences sure look nice when they sparkle
But I won’t let you be burned by pretty lies.
And I vow to love you ad infinitum
Because you are diamond
And when you catch my light
We refract shards of rainbow
And as we move away
Those shards fly apart like a universe expanding
And I love you in every inch of it.
I know you have an allergy to sentimentality
But if I want you to believe me when I say
You can tell me anything
I owe it to you, to tell you everything.
So maybe I have a fixation with love
But I’m sick of not saying what I mean
And lovers aren’t the only ones who deserve to be seen
Proudly worn on my heart,
And idealized in my art.
I’m scared because you’re leaving
And I’m the one to stay
But I hope that as you’re roving
You’ll sometimes pass my way.