(time stamps are in Pacific Time; ascending from least to most recent)
All of us girls here were thrilled that Sweden won (sorry, Kyle). For some surprising reason, Sarah's two favs - Germany and hosting country Austria - walked away with no points whatsoever. (Shame!) However, all the performances were great - it was a highly enjoyable competition. Conchita was a fabulous green room mother.
See you next year Europe! (And Australia?!)
(My favourite, John from Cyprus, only walked away with 11 points, but he has 1,000,000 points in my heart. ♥♥♥ Love you, John!)
We love you Sweden!
"Longest running music competition on television...in the world."
"My whole album is actually my most favourite tracklist."
-Conchita (Our Queen)
[Lowers lights] [Raises volume]
"Conchita is the hype-master."
"Her jawline has more structure that the last 19 years of my existence."
-Sharmaine
Arshpreet: Sweden
Sharmaine: Australia
Kayla: Australia
Kaity: Belgium
Michaela: Israel
Tamara: Sweden
Sarah: Austria
Kyle: Serbia
Alicia: Cyprus
Of course, we can't vote, being in Canada. So--
[Beautiful Italian voices]
[Handsome Italian man winks at camera]
[Impressive statues loom in the background]
Impressive high notes, nice dress.
We. Love. Her. Dress.
"I like this song. I'm just not a fan of their country."
-Michaela
Here we go again with the wolves.
I love the interpretive dance, but I think mine is the unpopular opinion.
She is a badass. The costume, the stormy background, and her killer voice truly make her a warrior.
"Literally slay me."
-Tamara
"I can't believe they got in...This one put me to sleep a little bit."
-Sharmaine
Look at those machine guns twirl. We appreciate the political message. I quite like this one. But the squad seems to go for the more upbeat numbers.
Streaming issues again for Spain.
She is gorgeous, the song is dramatic, and more Celine Dion vibes.
"Those legs though."
-Sarah
His voice is beautiful.
"This is intoxicating."
-Kaity
Our internet went down for most of this one, but we think she's pretty and the song is too.
"I think she's a god."
-Kayla
Sorry, but this one bores me. I appreciate her story, but...yeah. Plus, I've never really liked pink.
We like it. The black and white is very slick.
There is something very sensual about this performance. Mickey approves of the interpretive dancers.
"Everything smells like sorrow..."
"That's nice but I still can't get over [sniffs] [sobs]."
-Sarah
The Celine is strong with this one.
We love Conchita. We love her outfit. OMG SHADE THROWN. But she takes it like a champ.
Okay, Austria, time to rock it on the home front.
They look like hippies, but they sing good. Sarah and I will be downloading this.
OH GOD THE PIANO IS ON FIRE.
We all love this song. And the spins.
"He's like the Belgian, male version of Lorde."
-Sharmaine
"This is my aesthetic."
-Everyone
Anyone grumpy about Australia being in Eurovision - just listen to the magic that is this man's voice.
We are all in agreement - this is so good. And he just earned a round of applause.
"Australia is bringing it."
-Tamara
BRB - this is my bae, so I'll be too busy watching & listening.
Also - this song belongs in a Disney movie.
He is the most handsome, yes, but this is also an excellent song.
"MY SWEET SWEDE."
-Tamara
"HE'S SO HOT, WTF."
-Sharmaine
We like this song. We don't like her headpiece.
We already agreed this was our squad song.
"So hype."
-Sharmaine
This song is so catchy. THAT KISS. A rather lingering kiss.
"It's very Mumford and Sons."
"And Birdy."
-Sharmaine & Michaela
We're not feeling it. It has a kind of odd cult thing happening. The floor design of the stage is stunningly beautiful.
"He looks like Dracula."
-Arshpreet
Love this set - digging the Gatsby vibe. The dancers are good. The vocals...we're not loving.
Okay, the neon break is...cool. But the song is not up to the hype of the stage and lights.
We were hoping for a beat drop - we got a scat break instead.
He keeps looking into camera, trying to draw us in. Which, frankly, is making us a little uncomfortable. We all like the girl though. And she cried a real (dramatic) tear.
"He looks like a really old Louis Tomlinson."
-Sharmaine & Arshpreet
("I made a sunset in a cup.")
-Michaela (who was mixing a drink)
We all adore these Golden Boys. (Except Kyle, who is throwing shade.)
"If we ever need a hype song..."
-Michaela
France is going for the emotions with this one - solo singer in a black dress, a devastated city in the background.
"I need more songs about butts."
-Sharmaine
Wow, Mickey's throwing shade at Maraaya (turn the volume back up, you're being rude), but I still dig this performance. The air violin is my favourite part, but in general, I just really like the attitude of the three performers.
General consensus: The group is not a fan of the vocal performance (too nasal apparently), but we like the beat.
"I'm not gonna lie, for a second I thought that was Wanda Sykes."
-Kayla
VIOLIN SOLO RISE LIKE A PHOENIX. Eurovision is magical. All of you in North America who have never heard of it, you are missing out.
That went far better than last time. Most of our favs made it. There were several screams - Sweden, Cyprus. But the biggest cry of joy went to Israel, current Semi-Final 2 baes, who were the 10th and final country to qualify for the finals. Congrats to everyone! All the performances in this round were stellar, a little more indie movie than Hollywood blockbuster soundtrack, and with much more interpretive dance. Only at Eurovision.
Peaceful and serene, right down to the blossoms and flowing pink curtains in the background.
"Why does Slovenia always have headphones on?"
-Kyle
(The headphones are her trademark, apparently.) I dig this.
How are you in black and white? You give off a Jersey Boy vibe.
I LOVE THIS SONG. It's kind of melting my heart.
"This is enchanting."
-Sharmaine
(You have to top Hunter of Stars, good luck - it really is "Time to Shine".) Okay, your dress is very pretty.
In summary: Drums. Wind machine. Pretty beauty queen dress.
Hey Sweden. Looking good... You are too precious for this world. HE IS MAGIC.
*FAVOURITE*
Conchita just blessed that girl.
It's like they picked her up from prom. Pink dress, sparkly headband, and inexplicably gold feet.
THAT NOTE. All the high notes. This is a religious experience. Interpretive dance. Dancers = wolves. Only at Eurovision.
How did she get her dress perfectly splayed like that? Was she lowered by crane? Nice voice, tho.
Things just got so real. Handsome men...mmm...Y'ALL ARE SO ADORABLE.
YAASS NEW FAVS. We love these dancers, we love this song, everyone in the audience is clapping. Yes, yes, yes, YES!
Israel's One Direction.
I am loving the number - the lyrics, the mirror images, the whole bit.
Beauty Never Lies and Hope Never DiesI'm so on board with the rock climbing. Appropriate use of the wind machine. I can't understand the words but I feel the power.
He's like Joel McHale meets Adam Pascal. And Norway's Lorde? Good stuff.
We would love to schmooze with Conchita. Or be her.
Not quite the warrior that Nina is, but good for you. Hand gestures on point.
That is a headpiece all right. This is very serene and meditative. I feel like that built up to something kind of interesting.
Everyone's pretty. He's like the San Marino Nat Wolff. I like the pretty lights. This song is kinda cool but a little ominous and we're all feeling pretty conflicted.
Pretty forest.
"This is like a Disney nature film and she's the new Sarah McLachlan."
-Tamara
COLOURS. We're feeling slightly hypnotized. HOLY KISS BATMAN. (Tamara called it on the couples thing.)
Needs to be the theme for a new diverse, LGBTQA, indie team film.
Wow, 5 minutes in and no Australia references? Y'all are slacking!
We are sad that the baes did not make it, but overall - every country SLAYED and we are so happy. (Except for the part where Europe voted out most of our favs. Shame one you, Europe. Moldova had sexy police officers.)
Conchita should be our socialite mother, she is too precious. "Beauty Never Lies" is the official squad song from now on. Nina from Georgia is Tamara's warrior queen.
SLAY GIRL SLAY
(tied for 1st according to Tamara)
Can we be doo-wop girls? DO NOT WINK AT THE CAMERA, BOY IN SUSPENDERS.
(Our reigning favs)
EDIT (2:05): THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT :((((((
She is so fabulous.
Ultimate squad goals. This is like some ultimate dystopian novel movie theme.
"This is our official squad anthem, FYI."
-Tamara
Leaves fall. Background dancers appear.
"Is this Estonia's answer to Nate Ruess from Fun? I feel like it is."
-Tamara
She is too pretty.
This sounds like a movie theme.
"The new Celine Dion."
-Tamara
OH MY GOD THESE SENIORS ARE HARD CORE ROCKERS
Tamara and I were not expecting that